a sad ending to a new beginning

It’s Sunday, April 29th, 2018. My last Sunday in Starkville, the place I have grown to know and love as I do my hometown. My last night to sleep in a tiny twin size bed in Oak Hall that rattles every time you move. My last time to live under the same roof as so many of my best friends that I didn’t know existed nine months ago. And well, my last 24 hours as a Mississippi State Student.

I’ve put this off for as long as I can remember because I am still in denial that I have to leave this place that I love so much. Not because of grades, money, or that I didn’t absolutely love it here, but because God has another plan. If you haven’t heard, I won’t be coming back to MSU next year because of not only State not having my major, but any school in Mississippi. I will be taking online classes through the College of Court Reporting located in Indiana while residing in Hattiesburg, MS with two of my high school best friends. I know without a shadow of a doubt that God wants me to do this and that He will bring blessing out of it. As much as I don’t want to leave Starkville, MS, I am excited for my new adventure.

Enough rambling on about my future plans.. I’d like to talk a little bit (maybe a lot) more about why I fell in love with Mississippi State and all that it offers. First semester was a little rocky (as it is for most) coming from a small high school compared to this huge university. I came here knowing only a handful of people, leaving the town that has my heart, my huge friend group that I didn’t spend a second without, and my family that was always there for me. Throughout the first semester, I struggled through times where I was lonely, homesick, and didn’t feel like I was making friends fast enough. Over Christmas break, I prayed and prayed that second semester would be different. I prayed for a solid friend group who were like me, loved Jesus like me, and accepted me for who I was. My gosh were my prayers answered. The SECOND day back in Starkville after Christmas break, me and a few girls (who I had barely ever spoken to) got together and watched the National Championship game. Well, the rest is history. God answered my prayer in bigger ways than I could’ve ever imagined. Since that night, I haven’t gone a day without seeing them. I haven’t felt alone once. I haven’t missed home near as much (sorry mom).

These people are my shelter, my shoulders to cry on, my laughs until tears, my ice cream dates, my sisters in Christ and Phi Mu, my 2 AM heart to hearts, my bridesmaids, my answered prayers. I don’t know how in the world I survived before them and don’t want to know. This summer and the next few years of my life spent apart from them will without a doubt be one of the hardest things I’ve ever faced. They’ve all guaranteed me a spot in their apartments next year though ;).

To my girls: I love each of you as if I’ve known you my whole life. You have changed my life forever and for the better. You are my heaven sent best friends and forever will I be grateful for you.  I’ll be speeding to Starkville every weekend next semester so you better be ready. Please never ever forget me (and don’t kick me out of the group message).

Anna Claire C- my heart. my secret keeper. what did i ever do without you? we have gone from being strangers and me not following you on IG to inseparable best friends in just 5 months. eat plenty of noodles and stax for me ❤ i expect a facetime everyday

Mckenzie H- my encourager. my go-to when im hungry and no one else will eat with me. i look up to you more than you know and im so thankful to have a friend who is so much like me. ily and snocones ❤

Kayne W- my chicken. my laugh when i wanna cry. the coolest and funniest gal i know. thank u for laughing and making jokes with me about things we both dont care about 😉 call me when you get annoyed ❤ LIOBLIOBLIOBLIOB

Olivia D- the life of the party. the one who never fails to make everyone laugh. i think i’ve grown abs from laughing so hard at you every single night. eat some arkansas green beans for me. REDSNDEDS 4EVA ❤

Randa N- my missouri gal. thank you for appreciating country music and letting me borrow your clothes. run some miles on that treadmill for me and save me a spot in hathorn. i love you and sorry for making fun of you for wearing makeup to the gym. ❤

Anna Claire B- where have you been all my life. you are the loudest and the spunkiest of us all. sorry you had to live in mag but thx for coming to oak every night 🙂 see u at the lake my girl ❤

Ashton C & Ashton D- i love you both. CC & DD better still be a thing when were 80. some of my best times here at state were spent with you two. ily

Anna Kate & Mary Elliott- the only reason i made it through first semester. thank you for all of our fun times and especially athens. cant wait for our moms to reunite at our weddings. ❤

Emily P- my twin. so thankful to have met you on big/little and love you ever since. keep our family going strong ❤

Gracy & Mary Grace- i cant wait to visit yall’s apartment next year!!! mg, thx for keeping me sane the first month of school. gracy, you light up any room you walk in and may you one day find those sunglasses.

to so many more- thank you for making MSU and Phi Mu what it is. there are so many people at this place that i love and adore so much. i could never thank you enough!!!!!

 

Advertisements

worth the battle

Everyday but especially today, I’ve been missing Super Summer and Passion Conference a whole lot. Both of these are events that each last a few days.. packed with nothing but Jesus. These days are filled with worship like no other, messages from some of the best pastors, and fellowship with other Christians. Some of the best days of my life have been spent at these two places and I always say “I wish every day was like Passion” or “I wish everyone was like my friends are at SS” or “Why can’t every church service be this good?” It’s so easy to live out your faith when everyone around you is doing it too, right? It hardly takes any effort to be a vessel for Christ and reflect Him when you’re in the right environment and feel safe with the people you’re around. I think that’s why I wish everyday life was just as easy as it is at SS and Passion but Jesus never said it would be easy.

It can be so hard to be an example to the people around us when maybe they aren’t the same as us, believe different, or just don’t wanna hear it. Maybe you feel uncomfortable or out of place because you have a different love for the Lord than those around you. That’s okay. THANKFULLY, God gave me the sweetest, most genuine, Christ-following friends in college that encourage me everyday and sometimes make me feel like I’m at Super Summer. For you, that may be different. For me, in high school, that was different. Most of the time I felt like no one was like me, not even my closest friends. It’s okay if that’s you. I am here to tell you today, IT IS OKAY. God has put you in this situation for a reason that only He knows. You keep being you and seeking after the Lord like no other. He will bless you in the most tremendous ways and He wants you to be a blessing to those around you whose ways may be different than yours.

Tonight before I started writing, I prayed that God would use this blog to tell someone it’s okay and not to quit. I don’t know who you are out there but I know how you feel. I’ve been there before and you are not alone. Jesus himself is beside you every step of the way and He wants you to keep pushing. Whenever it gets hard, think about how hard it must’ve been for Christ to give His life for a bunch of sinners like us.

“And should this life
Bring suffering
Lord, I will remember
What Calvary has bought for me
Both now and forever”

One day, everyday will feel like Passion or Super Summer. Until then, keep being the one living their life for Christ. Remember, Jesus didn’t say it’d be easy but it WILL be worth it. He gladly chose surrender so so will we!!! I love you and He loves you.

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Romans 12:2

“Sing to the LORD; praise his name. Each day proclaim the good news that he saves. Publish his glorious deeds among the nations. Tell everyone about the amazing things he does. Great is the LORD! He is most worthy of praise! He is to be feared above all gods.” Psalm 96:2-4

ONE in Jesus

It’s been a little while since I’ve written but this past weekend I was a youth leader at Simpson County’s Disciple Now. One of the messages has been on my heart ever since and I wanted to share a few of my favorite parts. The very last night, the pastor spoke on “One Enemy, One Heart, One Purpose”. I have not been able to get over the verses he read that night.

The first comes from John 17:20-23 and PLEASE READ IT ALL!!! “20 My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, 21 that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. 22 I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one—23 I in them and you and me—so that they may be brought to complete UNITY. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.”

WOAH. My mind was absolutely blown as he was reading this verse. I could not get over how perfect it was and how each and EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US (not just some) should be living this verse out. Every day on social media or even just in society, you see people bickering/arguing and disagreeing all the time. We may not all agree on everything but we are called to be ONE. Not two, not three, ONE… in Jesus!!! Jesus didn’t picture us to be separated or to be divided and honestly, I feel like it breaks His heart when we act this way. He wants unity between His people so why can’t we give Him that?

ONE HEART.

Acts 4:32 says “All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of their possessions was their own, but they shared everything they had.”

ONE PURPOSE.

1 Corinthians 1:10 says “I appeal to you, brothers and sisters, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another in what you say and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly united in mind and thought.”

If these verses aren’t enough clarity and proof that we should be unified with each other I don’t know what is. The pastor’s message this weekend absolutely blew my mind but I know it was God speaking through him. The students and even leaders in our county needed to hear that and maybe so do you. Maybe God laid this blog on my heart to reach you and open your eyes to something you may be doing wrong.

Love your neighbor. Don’t fuss or fight. Be ONE in Jesus name.

Thanks for reading (if you made it this far). i love you ❤

xoxo, di

strong in the struggle

Lately, those going through loss, heartbreak, and trials have been on my heart. I feel like so many of my blogs are how to cope with things and encouragement through a hard time but that’s just life and struggles are part of being a human. At some point in all of our lives, we’ve experienced a time where we felt like maybe God wasn’t listening or wondered why bad things happen to good people?

Yesterday I saw something on Twitter that went kind of like this.. “The saying ‘God will never give you more than you can handle’  bothers me. YES absolutely He will because He wants you to lean on Him and put your trust in Him.” … and that really spoke to me. I never actually thought of it that way but HOW TRUE that He gives us situations we think we will never be able to handle but we end up making it through because JESUS handled everything for us on the cross.

So many times people look to worldly things or other people to satisfy them or “fix” whatever their struggle may be. Those are not the places we should be looking for satisfaction. Peace comes from Jesus and Jesus only. The less we need from the world, the more we can withstand the pain in it. Yes, we will be handed more than we can handle because we have a God on our side who makes the darkness tremble and silences fear. HE IS BIGGER THAN ANY TRIAL YOU FACE!!!! Accept that and keep it in your mind. The less you need from the world, the more you can enjoy it. When our hope is in Him, we have nothing to be anxious or worry about.

To anyone hurting or struggling, please put your hope in Jesus and Him alone. This world and its problems are temporary and whats next is ALWAYS better than what’s now. We have a future in Heaven to look forward to that outweighs this world in so many ways.

–xoxo, di

 

Jesus, we trust you. We know that you are an unfailing God who will never let us down. Your ways are higher than ours and we hand our hard times to you. We thank you for the cross and more importantly, for what happened after the cross. I pray for those who feel like there is no hope. I pray that they would give their lives to you and experience the peace that only You can give. Thank you thank you thank you for every little thing. In Jesus Name, Amen.

gracefully broken

This past week, the devil has tested my faith more times than I can count on my own two hands. You can ask any of my friends and they would agree too (trust me, they’ve heard all about it). When times get tough like this, all I know to do is to write it out in words and give it to God.

Now I’m not gonna sit here and tell you every little thing that has happened this week, but I will say I’m having to type this from my computer because my phone crashed on my way back to school IN MY MOMS CAR because my car is messed up too 🙂 just a little piece of it.

But it’s in the lowest times in life when I trust God the most. While driving to Starkville tonight, I thought about how just the smallest things can get us so far down and make us feel like we have nothing left; when in reality, we have all we’ll ever need in Jesus. He will NEVER leave us or forsake us and the devil has NO PLACE where Jesus lives. It is SO easy to let satan tear us apart and let him think he has control of us. But the closer we are to Jesus, the further we push the devil away. So many times we get so caught up in the world that we forget whose we are and why we’re even here on earth. Our sole purpose is to serve Jesus and Him only. Not our worldly things, not our problems, not anything that the devil puts in our way.

So whenever you feel like your world is falling apart or that the devil has a hold of you, trust in Jesus harder than you ever have. Talk to Him and give Him all of your thoughts, worries and needs.  Hold on so tight to Him, for He is the only one who can give you a peace like no other. He is so much bigger than anything we face, especially the devil. We all go through times that we call tough, but nothing is more tough than the One who died for you.

 

2 Corinthians 12:9-10
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
James 4:7
 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
xoxo, di ❤

Bleed the Same

While doing homework and listening to music the other day, a song came on the station I was listening to and stole my attention. I stopped what I was doing and could not have agreed more with the words I was hearing. It was called “Bleed the Same” by Mandisa and Toby Mac. The words of the chorus go something like this:

“We all bleed the same
We’re more beautiful when we come together
We all bleed the same
So tell me why, tell me why
We’re divided
If we’re gonna fight
Let’s fight for each other
If we’re gonna shout
Let love be the cry
We all bleed the same
So tell me why, tell me why
We’re divided” 

To say they released this song at the right time because of what is going on in society today would be an understatement. I don’t know about you but I am SO tired of and confused about why people still judge and separate themselves from others who are so called “different” from them. If you know me, you know this is something I have never liked and have always done the opposite of. Because that’s what Jesus did, right? YES. Jesus didn’t only love the rich. Jesus didn’t only choose to bless the people of color. Jesus didn’t choose to only feed the hungry. Jesus loves the rich AND poor. Jesus loves the white, black, red, yellow, green AND pink. Jesus loves the hungry AND the fed. EQUALLY. Since we are supposed to mirror Him and become more like Him everyday, why do we only choose to love certain people? Why do we think we get to pick who we like and who we don’t like? Just like Mandisa said in her song, we all bleed the SAME. Jesus loves us all the SAME. So what is stopping us from being like Him?

Another verse in the song says this:

“Tell me, who are we
To judge someone
By the kind of clothes they’re wearing
Or the color of their skin?

Are you black? 
Are you white? 
Aren’t we all the same inside? 
Father, open our eyes to see!”

She took the words out of my mouth. Who are we to judge someone by the outside? Mark 12:31 states this. “The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” NO GREATER COMMANDMENT. If you’re not loving your neighbor, you are disobeying God. This is a subject that is close to my heart and I felt like I just needed to share my thoughts and maybe get you to thinking, too.  I’m gonna leave you with a few verses and this:

If you think Heaven is gonna be full of nothing but people just like you, you’re in for a rude awakening. 😉

If you think I’m wrong or don’t agree with me.. that is okay too. Just read these verses. 

“The rich and the poor have a common bond. The LORD is the maker of them all.” Proverbs 22:2

“And He made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined their appointed times and the boundaries of their habitation.”       Acts 17:26

“There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”                                                                     Galatians 3:28

“But if you show partiality, you are committing sin and are convicted by the law as transgressors.”                                                                                                                                          James 2:9

“But the one who hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going because the darkness has blinded his eyes.”                        1 John 2:11

Much love!!!!

ENOUGH.

Webster’s Dictionary defines the word “enough” as…: occurring in such quantity, quality, or scope as to fully meet demands, needs, or expectations enough food for everyone. 

Do you ever feel like you aren’t enough? Like you don’t fully meet people’s demands, needs, or expectations? Of course!! We all have those days and this week just happens to be one of those for me. Some people are too afraid to admit it or just don’t want people to know how they feel, but I will. 

As humans, we let so many things in life define who we are and place us in an order of importance. Let me be the first to say, STOP.  The titles at school, your boyfriend/girlfriend, GPA, parents, workplace, your position on a team, or what you make on a test does NOT define who you are on the inside. I know it’s the end of the school year and so so many things are distracting and stressful but it’s important to remember who we live this life for. Jesus says in the bible that we are ENOUGH for Him because we are His. No worldly thing can take that away. 2 Corinthians 3:5 says “Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God.” Through Him, we have every title, every placement, every answer we’ll ever need. After all, we are here for His glory and to spread His word, not for ourselves. When times get tough and you feel like you’re not enough and all alone, He is with you ALWAYS & ALWAYS on you’re side!!  
oh &a half of this won’t matter when we get to Heaven anyway 😉

love you guys xoxo❤️